The Storyteller - the wit and wisdom of Frank Coughlin
The Easter Bunny is secretly a dentist

This is a picture of the Easter Bunny taken covertly. The place is the Easter Bunny's secret lair. As you can see, the Easter Bunny lives the good life - designer furniture, pearls, top of the line cosmetics, imported wood shavings from high up in Tibet. . .etc. 
You might ask yourself how does a simple egg placer and basket filler afford such digs. The truth is horrifying. Ms. Bunny has been on the payroll of the ADA (American Dental Assoc.) for decades. That's right - the Easter Bunny wants you to eat candy and rot your teeth out.

The Easter Bunny is one of several holiday icons and mythological creatures that are on corporate payrolls. Leprechauns are paid by Guinness (where did you think they got their gold). Tom Turkey was hired by Butterball AND Jenny Craig.  Cupid has an open account with several jewelers and Fannie Mae not to mention the florists of FTD (*oops I mentioned them). And Don't get me started with Santa Claus - Is there any toy company he doesn't get kickbacks from. Even Uncle Sam has been rewarded by the fireworks makers. Even Dracula gets merit raises from retailers for all the costumes sold for Halloween.
Is it any wonder that America's holidays have become commercialized. Of course I do not have proof but has that ever stopped Fox News?
You might be wondering what this all has to do with writing. Well, I go to the library to do research, check out wonderful books but wonderful writers (whom I will steal from, I mean emulate), and use the computers there to navigate the net safely. And during holidays, the library is closed.
So to sum it all up - Easter is when we get to rot our teeth out with rotten candy (is there anything worse than Peeps) and watch every rotten movie saga about Jesus ever made (twice) and be barred from the mind enlightening of stories found in the library. What's not to like?
(P.S. The day after Easter is my favorite day of the year - that is when all the candy left over goes on sale half price.)
Have to go now - time to eat candy !

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