The Storyteller - the wit and wisdom of Frank Coughlin
Ages ago, a writer named Jonathon Swift wrote a small essay called "A Modest Proposal". Swift was a well known Satirist - which means he was known for writing ridiculous topics and making them sound real.
In his essay, he proposed that the children of the poor be sold to scientists for experimentation. Thus, he said,there will be less poor people and the poor will be richer because they will have the money from their children. Many people rushed to judge Mr. Swift's farce as real - some even praised its logic. In the end, Mr. Swift was able to get society to look at the plight of the poor. Mission accomplished. (Although many among the poor of the time thought this man was a monster.)
Today, in the age of such people as Donald Trump - who either is a master of satire (which I doubt) or is so in love with himself that he does not see how ridiculous he truly is, I am going to attempt to write some satire Right here before your eyes.
I call my piece - Vote For Me.
If I am elected for president - I am going to eliminate income taxes. On all people who voted for me. The rest, the losers, the ones who did not vote for me - I will double your taxes. Corporations who give me lots of money can have one law repealed. For instance, if you are from the tobacco industry, I will repeal the law that says you have to tell people what is in your cigarette, ie how much nicotine.
I will remove from the television sets of America, all offensive material - thats right - all channels will now be on cable - no more free TV. I will make cable companies charge you for what you watch - free market values here. If a show is popular then it will cost more to watch. Yes, every TV program will be pay per view.
No, it is not true that I am taking contributions from the Movie and cable companies ( I have already taken them).
I am sure I have a few more policies in the making - such as allowing casinos on campuses, making liquor free but taxing accidents, lawyers, and headache remedies. I also think that Nascar could be improved by making the winner the last one standing - a la demolition derby. And baseball players should give back money for every missed ball, error or strikeout.
And I would create peace by taxing heavily the use of nuclear arms.
I have spoken - vote for me - I am better and smarter than Donald somebody.

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